I received my very own copy of The Epic this week.
Expect more bloggage soon.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Don't bring a gun to a jazz-hand fight
As little sense as Zardoz makes, the movie still makes more sense than most women I know.
Zing.
I am still eagerly awaiting the arrival of my DVD from Amazon.com... It has shipped!
In other news, I'm taking a bag of grain to the gun shop - hope they work on the Zardoz barter system. I'm gonna get me a handgun! It'll come in handy for dealing out some death... have to even the score after all that life my penis has been spreading around. E-VIL!
I think I might pull a Zed and gun-down extras from Les Miserables.
Although, I COULD just sharpen my jazz-hand skills. You know, mess up some fools with that jive.
Zing.
I am still eagerly awaiting the arrival of my DVD from Amazon.com... It has shipped!
In other news, I'm taking a bag of grain to the gun shop - hope they work on the Zardoz barter system. I'm gonna get me a handgun! It'll come in handy for dealing out some death... have to even the score after all that life my penis has been spreading around. E-VIL!
I think I might pull a Zed and gun-down extras from Les Miserables.
Although, I COULD just sharpen my jazz-hand skills. You know, mess up some fools with that jive.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Little known Zardoz facts...
- Zardoz roughly follows the same storyline as the four Coheed & Cambria albums.
- The first half of Zardoz syncs up perfectly with King Crimson's "Larks' Tongues In Aspic."
- Zardoz is based on Scientology's creation myth. It's the prequel to Battlefield Earth.
- The special effects were produced by the lightman for Pink Floyd's 1973 European Tour.
- As a tribute to director John Boorman, the Zardoz soundtrack features a version of "Theme from Deliverance" reinterpreted by Brian Eno.
- Zardoz came out before Star Wars and is therefore better.
- Zed was the inspiration for Virtua Fighter character Lau.
- Tim Burton is planning a remake and promises to completely fuck up the ending. Johnny Depp has signed on to play Zed. Marilyn Manson will co-star as Friend.
- Floating stone heads really do make great grain silos.
- The guns used in the "Zardoz pukes out a bunch of guns" scene were culled from Charleton Heston's personal armory.
- One can typically find a copy of Zardoz on VHS cassette at a flea market in a "6 movies for a dollar" bin.
- Arthur Frayn's tattoo was painstakingly drawn on via Crayola washable magic marker every morning before filming.
- Zardoz was filmed in the Irish countryside, easily making it the gayest thing to ever come out of Ireland.
- The cast and crew accounted for 43% of all cocaine consumption during filming in 1973.
- Zed is a perpetual gold-medal favorite in the woman toss.
- Penises don't kill people. Guns kill people.
- The first half of Zardoz syncs up perfectly with King Crimson's "Larks' Tongues In Aspic."
- Zardoz is based on Scientology's creation myth. It's the prequel to Battlefield Earth.
- The special effects were produced by the lightman for Pink Floyd's 1973 European Tour.
- As a tribute to director John Boorman, the Zardoz soundtrack features a version of "Theme from Deliverance" reinterpreted by Brian Eno.
- Zardoz came out before Star Wars and is therefore better.
- Zed was the inspiration for Virtua Fighter character Lau.
- Tim Burton is planning a remake and promises to completely fuck up the ending. Johnny Depp has signed on to play Zed. Marilyn Manson will co-star as Friend.
- Floating stone heads really do make great grain silos.
- The guns used in the "Zardoz pukes out a bunch of guns" scene were culled from Charleton Heston's personal armory.
- One can typically find a copy of Zardoz on VHS cassette at a flea market in a "6 movies for a dollar" bin.
- Arthur Frayn's tattoo was painstakingly drawn on via Crayola washable magic marker every morning before filming.
- Zardoz was filmed in the Irish countryside, easily making it the gayest thing to ever come out of Ireland.
- The cast and crew accounted for 43% of all cocaine consumption during filming in 1973.
- Zed is a perpetual gold-medal favorite in the woman toss.
- Penises don't kill people. Guns kill people.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Ok, this time you're REALLY going to "Enter Zardoz"
Ok, so I'm guessing the rest of the world isn't quite sure what Zardoz is, or is all about. It's best described in a list of bullet points.
- floating stone heads
- Sean Connery with disturbing sideburns, a greasy ponytail, bandoleer, red diaper and thigh-high leather boots.
- GRAIN!
- baby-jesus-on-tits.
- Fops, fops, and more fops.
- projectors and mirrors. ad nausem.
- naked people in plastic bags.
- dudes dressed like Rick Wakeman named "Friend."
- jazz hands as lethal weapons.
- women wearing lampshades.
- french post-modern art orgasming across the plane of your unconscious.
- "coming in the stone"
- (seemingly) drugs.
- diamond ring computers.
- Sean Connery's seed.
- psychobabble.
You've been warned. Now click the link and BEHOLD his majesty, Zardoz.
ZARDOZ - Trailer.
- floating stone heads
- Sean Connery with disturbing sideburns, a greasy ponytail, bandoleer, red diaper and thigh-high leather boots.
- GRAIN!
- baby-jesus-on-tits.
- Fops, fops, and more fops.
- projectors and mirrors. ad nausem.
- naked people in plastic bags.
- dudes dressed like Rick Wakeman named "Friend."
- jazz hands as lethal weapons.
- women wearing lampshades.
- french post-modern art orgasming across the plane of your unconscious.
- "coming in the stone"
- (seemingly) drugs.
- diamond ring computers.
- Sean Connery's seed.
- psychobabble.
You've been warned. Now click the link and BEHOLD his majesty, Zardoz.
ZARDOZ - Trailer.
The mystery of Zed for $7.49
Somehow this "gem" is in stock at Amazon.com - for only an incredible $7.49!
Needless to say, my copy is on its way as we speak.
The most disturbing thing I found out about Zardoz is that via a quick google search is that sci-fi people actually LOVE this movie. There's people out there that think this is some fine sort of cinema.
Dear god.
Needless to say, my copy is on its way as we speak.
The most disturbing thing I found out about Zardoz is that via a quick google search is that sci-fi people actually LOVE this movie. There's people out there that think this is some fine sort of cinema.
Dear god.
Enter Zardoz.
Welcome to the official blog of the worst movie of all time.
The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was, but the gun shoots death, and purifies the Earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth . . . and kill!
The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was, but the gun shoots death, and purifies the Earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth . . . and kill!
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